I was speaking with a club owner the other day about the experiences of someone in the commercial sex industry and I said to them that I feel the most damaging thing about it is the isolation. It's that feeling that you're entirely alone and that no one cares about the real you that's on the inside. You have no real friends. Friends who love you for who you are, where you are--who know the good, the bad and the ugly and still love you. You can't tell people on the outside what you do because they'll respond negatively or they'll treat your children differently. You can't befriend other dancers at a truly intimate level of friendship because ultimately they are competition, as much as you don't want them to be. And if you have a spouse or a lover, there's this disconnect that often exists because they just don't understand. Often your parents disown you or you become the black sheep of your family. I could go on...It feels as if at the end of the day, you are truly alone.
The reality is that we all feel this way sometimes, whether we are in the industry or not. We all have those moments that we feel utterly alone, as if no one really sees us. I want people to see me...to see the real me and love me. And I want to see people for who they are. I am reading a book right now called "God Hides in Plain Sight: How to See the Sacred in a Chaotic World" by Dean Nelson. I would recommend it to you. I came to a profound thought in the book that I think summarizes what I am trying to say...
But we can, in one way or another, say to the people around us,
'I see you. I notice you. You're not invisible. You matter."